Thursday, June 28, 2012

Baloney Flavored Meat

This one started from a conversation I had on an episode of Cinema Head Cheese: The Podcast! You can thank Jeff Dolniak for the title of this post. My competitor was a young man with glasses and headphones.

Kevin: I'm snacking on baloney flavored meat. How are you?

Kevin: Do you like baloney flavored meats?

No response all day, though he kept playing.

Kevin: Dude, we're men here. I'm trying to have a conversation about processed meats. Yay or nay on the baloney flavored meats?

Glasses: Lol...that would be a no for me

Kevin: You a pastrami man? Sommer sausage, maybe?

Kevin: You're not very talkative. Meat is important. It's my life.

Glasses: Hmmm...well sense you seem so passionate about the subject, I'll let you talk. I don't have much to say.

Kevin: What's your favorite? I'll give you a personalized history.

Glasses: Turkey

This is where I get to start talking completely out of my ass.

Kevin: Turkey as a luncheon meat goes back to colonial days. Early colonists would salt the meat and soon learned that it was a succulent cold dish that held up well. Turkey was one of the first processed...

Glasses: Cool

Kevin: meat due to its plentitude. They were also used in carnival games in the early 1800s. Ben Franklin proposed the turkey as our national bird, but many thought that this was due to a little known sexual...

Kevin: fetish he had for the bird.

Kevin: Did you know Ben Franklin liked to fuck turkeys?

No response. The next day...

Kevin: Do you know how many signers of the Declaration of Independence were beastialists? I'll give you a hint. You'd need more than one hand to count them.

Nothing from him until the next day. He continues playing.

Kevin: Don't you want to know who buggered animals?

He plays the final word. He seems to pretend I never wrote about animal fucking.

Glasses: Good game. Nice playing with you

Kevin: You too. Remember, baloney flavored meat is your friend.

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