Sunday, July 15, 2012

Alert the Authorities!

This dillweed thought she would threaten me with the coppers. Not happening. Funny stuff, though.

Kevin: I love a woman with a really hairy butt. Running my fingers through it is divine.

CopGirl: I love that my father is a sherriff ur move

Kevin: Does your father love that you can't spell sheriff?

CopGirl: Does your parents know ur a pervert?

Kevin: Do your parents know that the school system has failed you? Do you even know your dad?

CopGirl: Ur 1 sick person

Kevin: I'm sick for pointing out your terrible spelling and grammar? Okay.

Kevin: When was your last brain scan?

She resigns.

Kevin: Dummy.

CopGirl: Stop getting a nut off my time u filing pervert

I don't even know what that means.

Kevin: Double dildo dummy.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

The Call of... Period?

For this one, I changed my profile pic to a close-up of strawberries. Oh, and I pretended to be a woman, but that will be obvious by my first sentence. I'm pretty sure my opponent was also a guy based on the smartass remarks.

Kevin: I'm totally having my period right now. I HATE the heavy days.

A$$: Me too

Kevin: Wtf right? I started having cramps last night and KNEW this shit would start today. Now my bf is all pissed cuz i wouldn't let him go down on me this morning. That's so gross.

Kevin: Srsly, chunks are coming out of me. I think i had a miscarriage.

Kevin: Ever have that? My cunt hurts.

A$$: My worst is when my ass bleeds.

Kevin: During ur period? Had that happen. Usually after i let my bf fuck my ass. Hes big.

A$$: Must be a nigger in you

I really don't know why people think this is okay to say just because they're hidden online, but I just went with it.

Kevin: He has a big black dick. Almost 12. Thick as an Alabama tree stump. My dad hates him.

A$$: Wow. And your tits and pussy look like

A$$: Just watched porn for three hours and played Wii at the same time. The went fishing and ate raw meat. Yeah!

Kevin: How big is your pussy? I have very long labia. My vagina looks like Cthulu.

Kevin: I should call it Cunthulu!

He just quit playing after that. I couldn't be topped.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Somebody's Watching Me

The icon for this one was of an old couple, and I assume I was talking to the guy here. His profile and mine both end with the number 52, so I thought I'd use it to get started.

Kevin: Are you 52?

1952: No, I was born in '52.

Kevin: The year 52, 1852 or 1952?

1952: Very funny.

Kevin: I'm serious. I was born in 1952, and I don't remember seeing you at the reunion.

1952: What reunion?

Kevin: If you were really born in 1952, you'd know. What's the joke? Are you messing with me?

1952: Ok, if I was born in 1852, I'd be 159 years old. Think that's likely?

1952: I still don't know about any reunion.

Kevin: I don't know what's possible with science. For all I know, you could be part of a government experiment.

Kevin: Are you Captain America?

1952: What ARE you smoking??

Kevin: Don't try to distract me from the truth. I know all about the Patriot Act, but I never thought you CIA thugs would stoop to spying on Wordfeud. Unbelievable!

He resigned.

Kevin: Aha! I knew it! Busted! You tell J. Edgar Hoover that he can shove it!